The Asparagus

What?! The Asparagus.
What could I possibly have to say about this vegetable?
The Asparagus seems simple enough. It's green. Some actually enjoy eating asparagus. Who knew that Asparagus could almost cause an international incident.
Today, I was asked to get asparagus on the way home. Then, I was told if I got the Asparagus, someone would toss it in the trash. Why? I decided to go exercise before going to the grocery store. Does the order of getting the Asparagus really matter? No and Yes.
No, it should not matter because I volunteered to get the asparagus after a trip to the gym.
Yes, it matters because Person A is trying to save me a trip.
Meanwhile, the Asparagus is shouting and laughing.
I exercised today, but I did not get the Asparagus. The Asparagus lives.